Steps

1. Imagine what you would be like in your perfect world. How are you different and how could you achieve this?
2. Determine what needs improvement and what doesn’t. Identify your assets (honest, hardworking, loving…etc.) and your liabilities (angry, lazy…etc.) This is best done with a trusted confident, a loved one, a therapist, a religious leader or even a “Sponsor” in a 12 step group. Most people are experts at self deception. Having an outside party helps to break down some of that. Also, we sometimes have a problem of being either too hard or too soft on ourselves. We need an accurate picture of ourselves if we are to improve.
3. Seek out information on how to pursue that change. Information can be gathered from books, articles, friends, family, and professionals. It is amazing how much information will find you when you are ready!
4. Pick which suggestions you can apply to yourself and to practice those suggestions. If a certain set doesn’t seem to work, try another! Nothing works for everyone. You need to find what works for you!
5. Practice, practice, practice! Change comes slowly for most people and can be very uncomfortable. Just keep going until your change is your new reality (the changed you).
6. Be sincere. To further improve yourself. If you do good deeds (even if it ranges from simple things like giving someone a smile or helping your mom) with a sincere heart, everything you do automatically becomes better and you’ll have true happiness in your life. (Doing any good deed doesn’t mean you have to expect anything in return)
7. Believe in yourself. Recognize your strengths, even if you have to list all of them down. You have to be your own best friend, then you can be a good friend or lover to others.

Steps

1. Be respectful of everyone. Say “Thank you” to everyone who does something for you. So that includes your waiter, the bus boy, bus drivers, someone holding the door for you, etc.
2. Remember that everyone you’re interacting with is human, too. Just because you’re paying someone to wait on your table doesn’t give you the right to be rude; treat them like you’d want to be treated if you were in their position. (It’s easier to see what someone is really like by how they treat their inferiors, not their equals — J.K. Rowling)
3. Do things for other people, even if you don’t know them. Hold a door when going in or out of a building, pick something up for a stranger when they drop it, offer to take a picture for someone if they look like they’re taking one.
4. Be honest; don’t lie to someone to make them feel better. Usually they can tell. When someone asks, “Does this make me look fat?” (Yes, it’s a cliche, but it’s a classic example) say “Yes” if it does, but offer some advice! If you know your fashion, tell them WHY. They’re sure to trust you knowing that you were honest and appreciate that you’re helping them.
5. Keep your promises. Make sure you can follow through on all your commmitments. They’re called “commitments” because you’ve committed; don’t back out last-minute. Make sure that everyone involved knows if you’re going to be late and that will affect their plans.
6. What makes YOU uniquely likable? What talent or trait do friends admire in you? Identify this and take opportunities to showcase it. For instance, if you are good at math, perhaps you could volunteer at a clinic helping low income people balance their budgets or file their taxes. If you are a good singer, get up on kareoke night and entertain the room.
7. Learn and use everyone’s names. “I’m not good with names” will not work. Remembering names is a skill that must be worked on.

Tips

• Be open. If you look sad or angry, people will perceive that on some level and won’t want to talk to you. Even if you are sad or angry, think about all the reasons you should be happy.
• Likable people are people who like people. People will sense if you like them. If you want someone to like you, focus on something that you like about them. If you really don’t like them… perhaps it is not important that they like you.
• A very easy tip for getting a particular person to like you – ask for their help on something. Try to find a request that incorporates their skills or interests. It will show not only that you pay attention to them, but that you respect their authority on the subject that interests them.